Life of a Story Addict

No matter how many stories I read/hear/watch/tell, it will never be enough for me. I can say that to you with complete certainty. I'm a story addict through and through.

But what does that really mean?

It means that I'm a voracious reader, and listener of audio books, I can talk with someone for hours about our lives and the things we've seen and done, and movies/video games have always been a love of mine. When I was little, one of my favourite things to do was play pretend. I'd run through the woods in my backyard being chased by a minotaur, or hide top-secret information on CD's in my high-security tree fort.

In a way, I never grew out of playing pretend, it just transferred from acting out these stories to acting in school plays/musicals, and writing stories of my own. I'm quite certain many if not all of the people still reading this post up to this point can relate with me here. When I'm engaged in a story, I'm completely immersed in that world. I often find myself actually portraying on my face the different emotions an author expresses in words on a page. Sometimes when a storyteller is vivid enough with their explanations, even when it's a friend telling me of their adventures, I feel like it was actually me who experienced all these things, and my friend is simply the narrator explaining it all.

For me, where it seems to become a bit different than most people I know, is I'm almost never actually content with just finishing a book. There are times when I'll get a chapter or two away from the end and I start to slow down to a glacial pace because I know I'll go through withdrawals if I stop reading at that point. Sometimes even if it was a very good ending, I'll be really depressed because the book's over, and I have to go find something else to read.

With that in mind, add the fact that I'm extremely picky about what I read. Unless I'm thoroughly convinced I'll enjoy the book, I won't read the first chapter, and if I don't get sucked in within a couple pages I'm done. It's back on the shelf, and I have to find something else.

It really is like I'm some kind of drug addict who can't get a buzz off the weaker stuff anymore. I've been taking it too long, and now my body's immune to it. I have to have really good stories to fuel me. Anything sub-par just won't cut it anymore.

This goes for movies and video games too. If I'm watching a movie, and it has incredible special effects and flashy, attractive A-list stars but no real substance, I'm gone. If I'm playing a role playing game where there is absolutely no attempt made at constructing an interesting, or even logical plot, it's very hard to engage me.

All these things make up my profile as a story addict. One who needs stories all the time, but also can't stand mediocrity. I love to be in the midst of reading a book, but I hate hate hate ending one. Especially a series. One series in particular, The Circle Series, by Ted Dekker, was a series that I grew up reading, and was essentially what made me love books so much that it got me to start writing. The first three books came out in 2005, but the last book came out in 2009. At this point I thought the story was over, but to my everlasting joy and excitement the story could continue! With this book, I limited myself to a chapter a day, no matter what. It was excruciating. Every day I would battle with myself to either not read anything so that there would be more to read later, or to read as much as possible because I loved it all so much. This was the book where the tug-of-war inside me was most evident. I wanted so badly to finish it all, but I wanted desperately for it to never end.

Since this book came out in 2009, I've made it a tradition of mine to re-read the entire series every summer. And it still hasn't gotten old for me.

The thing that really sucks about this set of attributes, is that I'm someone who absolutely loves to write, but at the same time I'm my own worst critic. I'm super critical of what everyone else writes, and this criticism inevitably bleeds into my own writing. My inner editor is very loud and annoying. I want to tell stories, but I basically want them to be perfect before I share them with anyone. This is obviously not going to happen anytime soon.

So my dilemma is knowing how much critique is too much. Where do you draw the line? I have to revise my books of course, but how many times will be 'enough'? When will I be satisfied with my work?

With my current work in progress, it's gone through one revision, and will go through a second set of revisions once my friend is done reading it and giving me their thoughts on it. I feel like I simultaneously love and hate this book right now.

It's my baby that has spent two years as an infant. Everybody loves kids, but eventually, they have to grow up. Right now, I just really want this baby to go through publication puberty. It's gonna be nasty, there will be lots of changes it won't understand. But it has to happen.

My goal is to start looking for agents by the end of June... scary. Final edits, here I come!

Any other story addicts out there? Do you have a story burning inside you?